One of the most important things I learnt last week is how to be comfortable with myself.
I’ve always been the person that has to look good to everyone else, never say no, or disappoint anyone. Having someone dislike me or letting someone down was pretty much THE WORST thing that could happen to me. I mean, if I thought that someone didn’t agree with something that I’d done it would play on my mind for days, literally.
I would replay conversations or even worse, play out conversations in my head that hadn’t even happened yet. If you’ve been there, you know what I mean!
These conversations in my head were so bad that they would take up a good portion of my day, so that I spent a lot of time procrastinating over things.
And because I was so worried about what everyone else was thinking of me, I lost who I actually am as a person. I became guarded and emotionless, had very few close friends and I didn’t trust anyone. I was essentially a fake; and I was miserable.
But it’s cool right, everyone still thought I was awesome! (In truth, they probably didn’t but that’s what I told myself.)
So the break through came last week when I attended a course called The Landmark Forum (love this course, highly recommend it to everyone), and what happened for me there was an absolute revelation; we’re talking life-changing stuff here!
The big breakthrough that I had was this: “I can’t control other people’s thoughts”.
And now you might be thinking “Duh! That’s obvious” but I’ll let it sit with you for a moment: “You can’t control other people’s thoughts, the only thing you can control is yourself.
I’ll tell you why it was so important to me. It was important because it was bloody liberating! I finally realized that it doesn’t matter what anyone thinks of me, they are going to think what they think regardless of what I do.
What anyone else thinks is on them.
The only person I have to impress is myself, and I am the one in control of that.
In other words, “I have the power here!”
So for anyone who constantly worries about saying and doing the right things I would like to say this:
Whatever anyone else thinks doesn’t matter. It’s out of your control. When you can be yourself without worrying about what others think, you have the ability to create whoever it is that you want to be.
You have the power and you are free to be and do whatever you want without the fear of judgment.